Patriarchal Finances: Men and Money

In our modern era, many Christian men have shifted financial responsibilities onto their wives, sometimes out of convenience, sometimes because their wives are truly highly capable managers and it seemed the logical thing to do. While women can be effective financial stewards, Scripture places the ultimate responsibility for provision and financial leadership on the husband. This does not mean a wife cannot contribute meaningfully to financial management—indeed, the Proverbs 31 woman is a model of economic wisdom—but it does mean that men must take full ownership of their household’s financial direction and be the one calling all the shots.

For many men, this abdication happens gradually. It might begin with a busy season at work or the recognition that their wife is better at day-to-day budgeting. Over time, this can lead to the man becoming disengaged from household finances altogether, effectively making his wife the de facto financial head of the home. He brings home the bacon, and she cooks it. While this may seem practical, it is not biblical. God calls men to lead, not just spiritually and emotionally, but economically as well. A strong, biblically grounded household requires the husband to take charge of financial provision, planning, and management.

The Biblical Mandate for Male Provision

The biblical vision for household governance is one where men lead as providers. Genesis 3:17-19 establishes that man’s primary domain is work and provision, now tainted by toil, working by the sweat of his brow to feed his household. This principle is reinforced in 1 Timothy 5:8: "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Provision here is not limited to earning income; it includes managing the household economy with wisdom and foresight. The biblical patriarchs—Abraham, Isaac, Jacob—were men of wealth and financial authority who ensured the well-being of their families. There are many examples of these men taking direct action, becoming wealthy, deploying that capital and securing their family's future.

Proverbs 27:23-24 exhorts men to "Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds, for riches do not last forever." This principle applies directly to financial stewardship. A godly man does not merely earn but actively manages and grows his household’s resources.

In Ephesians 5:23, Paul states, "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." Christ does not delegate His responsibility to oversee and govern His church (insert a joke about the Papacy), and neither should a husband relinquish his authority over the financial affairs of his home.

A husband’s financial leadership is not just about paying the bills—it’s about vision, discipline, and wisdom. He must plan for the future, steward resources wisely, and ensure that his family is financially secure, both in the present and for generations to come.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

Some argue that Proverbs 31 paints a picture of a woman deeply involved in financial matters, and they are absolutely right. The Proverbs 31 woman is industrious, making investments, engaging in trade, and managing household resources with wisdom: "She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard." (Proverbs 31:16)

However, this economic activity does not contradict the biblical model of male headship. Instead, it illustrates the partnership between a godly husband and wife. The Proverbs 31 woman thrives in her financial endeavors because she operates within the secure framework of a well-led household. Her work complements her husband's role rather than replacing it. Verse 11 states, "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain." This demonstrates that while a wife can and should be resourceful, her work ultimately supports the financial vision set by her husband.

The Proverbs 31 woman is an asset to her husband’s financial leadership, not a replacement for it. She works diligently, but her work is done in support of her husband’s overarching economic direction for the household. This is a crucial distinction. A man must be engaged and intentional about his household’s finances, providing structure and oversight while encouraging his wife’s contributions within that framework.

The Dangers of Financial Abdication

While a wife may be skilled in managing money, it becomes problematic when a husband fully abdicates financial responsibility. When men refuse to engage with their household finances, several dangers arise:

Financial Chaos – Without clear leadership, spending can spiral out of control, leading to unnecessary debt and financial insecurity. I know this because I see it constantly.
Increased Stress on Wives – Women can handle financial matters well, but when they are forced to bear the full burden, they may and often do become overwhelmed, resenting their husbands for their lack of direction.
Weakened Masculinity – A man who refuses to handle finances is, by definition, neglecting a key aspect of his leadership role – He is not acting as a man should.
Generational Consequences – Sons grow up without a model of financial leadership, and daughters grow up expecting to bear a burden that Scripture places primarily on men.

The consequences of financial abdication do not remain isolated to the household’s bank accounts. They impact the entire family structure. A wife who has to carry the financial burden may experience resentment and/or exhaustion. Children may develop an imbalanced understanding of gender roles. Ultimately, the household drifts away from biblical order. It is no small thing to tell your wife to “just handle the finances”.

Practical Steps for Men to Take Ownership

If you recognize that you have neglected your financial duties, it is time to reclaim them. Here are practical steps to do so:

Earn the Money – Your household depends on your ability to generate income. Increase your skills, work diligently, and pursue financial growth.
Set the Budget – Sit down and determine a budget that reflects biblical stewardship and your family’s priorities.
Take Control of Accounts – Manage the household finances yourself, ensuring that you know where every dollar goes.
Lead with Wisdom – Study biblical principles of finance, avoid consumer debt, and plan for long-term generational wealth.
Involve Your Wife but Retain Leadership – A wife is a helpmeet, not the head. She can assist and even actively manage areas of the household economy, but the ultimate responsibility rests with you.
Train Your Sons – Teach them to manage finances from a young age so they grow up prepared for financial responsibility.

Earning More in Less Time to Be Present at Home

Many men believe that in order to provide well, they must sacrifice all their time at work, leaving them emotionally absent from their families. However, biblical provision does not mean workaholism—it means working with wisdom and efficiency.

Pursue High-Income Skills – Invest in learning skills that pay more per hour so you can work smarter, not longer.
Start a Business – Many men can earn far more by creating a business rather than relying on a job with fixed income. Just make sure to count the cost and work with a mentor. It is no small undertaking.
Invest Wisely – Comparatively passive income from investments, real estate, or other assets can supplement active earnings.
Eliminate Wasteful Spending – Cutting out financial waste frees up income, reducing the need for excessive work hours.

Conclusion: Restoring Financial Leadership

Godly men must embrace their role as financial leaders in the home. While a wife may play a significant role in managing household resources, the duty to provide, budget, and steward wealth ultimately belongs to the man. A wife’s contributions, like those of the Proverbs 31 woman, should complement her husband’s leadership, not replace it.

By reclaiming financial leadership, men will not only bless their families but also advance the kingdom of God through diligent and wise stewardship.

Husbands, take responsibility. Provide well. Lead wisely. Your family depends on it.